Satchelisimo
KeKo, Muckety, Muck ? Hear Ye: Enlightended and Infidel.
Herein are contained the Kronicles of the "Arising from the Ashes" of the NoZe Brotherhood in the early 60's. Also known and archived as the "Phoenix Dairies". This Epistle fully Approved by the Archbishop of Raspberry, Strawberry, Lemon, and Lime, and the KoKoKeeper of the Holy Law.
 
The Schism and Great Purge: 1964-1965
After a glorious year of Notoriety, the fall NeoPhyte Gaggle was better than ever. Ranks swelled and Holy Temple #3 was hardly large enough to contain the BrotherHood. Bro WhizNoZe, providing the True with copious amounts of brew did pursue SaintHood. After much Bribery, Chicanery, and disHonesty, Whiz was Delegated, Consecrated, and Elevated with Holy Pee as: Pope Impious the 96th of 3.2. Satchel! LongNoze Be Praised!
  However, dissension began to arise within the ranks of the Prudent and Faithful. Certain of the Brothers were getting flack from their well stacked Hairylegs. ie:The Brothers were not Frat Rat Worthy and respectable! Sugestions of Blue Blazers and bonified Enameled Pins of LongNoZe were put forth. Gobble! and Double Gobble.
The Seeds of dissension and rebellion were sown and started to grow. Excommunication of these confused Conformists was discussed. Things were at an impasse and, Lo, Bro WhizNoze after fasting and cosulting Old GrandDad received a Vision from LongNoze. The only solution was to throw off the outer trappings and return the BrotherHood to it's roots and go Underground as in days of yore and the 2 bit whore. This caused a great uproar and with a Quorum, Holy Temple #3 was abandoned, the Brotherhood splintered, and the Holy Law and Artifacts are lost to this day. (see bulletin below)
 
    A series of unfortunate events followed. First incedent: the NoZe's reBeautification Project for the year. A well trodden path that the men in Gray vigilently tried in vain to resod was bi-sected by the BrotherHood with a large pile of manure from A-NoZes family farm to discourage trespass. After a week or so of this pungent statement, the Brothers planted a glorious flower garden. Magnifique!
  Feeling upstaged, the Dean's social affiliation in his underclass years, the Circle Jer-Kay decided to place a chain fence around it. Gobble and Double Gobble. This problem was solved with a judicous placement of sulphuric acid at the base of each metal post. Lo and behold the whole thing started to collapse in about a week or so. The Circle Jerkers went to their Mentor the Dean and cried foul. With uptight bowells he did howl and vow to address the mess and oppress the Blest.
    At about the same time, Hairyleg Week was underway. The Monthy Rope was renamed the Monthly [ ? ] and exorted the indignities placed on nubile Baylor barbie dolls. This highly pissed the Criswellites (of Dallas 1st Baptiste) and his fellow RR Kronies who demanded - with a rise in their levi's - that something be done about this outrage. (Pity da Cripples ? Give 'em a Nipple!) Perry, dumbfounded because the NoZe was now fully underground and incommunicado issued a Holy Fahtwa on the BrotherHood and told the Kampus Kops to arrest anyone involved in suspicious nocturnal activities.
    Spring had sprung and the NoZe decided to draw attention to the Bridge that had become infamous for it's ocassional spontaneous combustion. The Sect did select this object of neglect for their Beauty project next. The event was set and by a stroke of luck the Koppers actually caught a Peeper, creeping around the yearling Hairyleg dorm of sleep. Thus safely out of the way, the Brothers did proceed to finish the deed. Whilst adding the final touches, Brothers Whiz and Saint were sprung upon by the Kampus gestapo and blamed, framed, maimed and thrown in the Wacko PD Slammer . The mean Dean did promise no retribution if the Brothers would but spend a night incarcerated. (Although bail was raised by the Brotherhood and available at midnight.) But alas, he was nowhere to be found the following morning, altho observed wondering around the Kampus and entering his office with a grin. Thus began the excommunication of the two Brothers from the Baylor Baptist Body.
   Of note at this point: Another attempted Purge was ongoing at the time concerning Hiz Excellence: Dean of Musica, Daniel Sternberg. Deep within the Bowels of the Tidwell Tower of Power, the UnHoly Pastorial Inquisition began the incantation: "That damn Jew has got to go.. ad nauseum". Bro SaintNoZe being of the same heBrew persuation, became thus, target numero Dos on the Pointy Head hit list.
  Threats of transcript trashing, bodily thrashing, and NoZe smashing followed. But the wily Brothers had an Ace up their knickers in the person of the Mostly High (satch) Barrister, Bro MasterNoZe Bates who promptly suggested that a massive deprivation of rights (with the attending Kollarbutton penalty) and false imprisonment would shortly be filed if the Brothers were jested or further arrested and molested. Ah, the power of the Kollarbutton in the Hallowed Halls of Learning! Fearing loss of employ after his little ploy, with no joy Dino realized the error of his ways, recanted - and elevated the Exiled Whiz & Saint to martyrdom and bid them Adieu to pursue their quest for Hairylegs, fame, fortune, and the Holy Grail.
  Thus the Great NoZe Purge of '65 was concluded. The Baptist Bards were placated and elated with the usual spring roundup of Infidels who were subverted by Holy Water and stumbled onto the Kampus babbling Hosannas thus facing the fabrications and allegations by the degenerate Anti-Vice Perry.
Note: Shortly thereafter the Dean would turn upon one of his own - One T. Delay and send him into exile and further degradation.    Have you no decency, Sir?    Greedy Bottom feeders, cross breeders, and seedy all.    Satchel, as is encanted:  "Give 'em enough Rope and and they will Hang themselves!"
Oh the disgrace! The Noble Jew and Whiz in Exile with such company!
    This Kronicle would be incomlete to not mention The Great Drama Mama Trauma. Genius in residence, Dr. Paul Baker, director, protector, and erector of the BU Theater enflamed the fumbling, mumbling, and bumbling Board of Regency by staging a most sublime, unrefined production of E O'Neills' "Long Days Journey Into Knight" to a group of pubescent young hairylegs and their attendent Baptiste Chap-a-roaming (aka Minister). Cries of "Blasphemy", depravitity, debauchery, and obsenity soon filled the pulpits of the Hypocrites. Within a year, the entire department was either Purged or resigned along with most of the dramatic students. R.I.P.
    Finally, on a Sly and High Note: Not to be deterred by these events, the NoZe Brotherhood's Memorial Photogravure of the True and Faithful Keepers of the Faith appeared upside, rightside down and around in the 94-95 SquareDown Annual with the rest of the Infidelic Social Klubs. Astounding, considering the fact that the NoZe was in financial arrears for some 20 or so years! Satchel, Bro Rebel!! Bored of Graft and auspicious NoZemen in High places Rule Supreme!!
 
Thus ends This Epistle and Kronicle. Recorded as inAccurate
and unTrue by the KoKoKeepers of these Archives.
 
Begin '62-'63 Kronicles '63-'64
WANTED - HISTORICAL ARTIFACT
The Holy Law and Grail
of the NoZe Brotherhood.
In a time long before the last minor ChamberPot uprisings, a decree went forth to destroy the Holy Temple #3 of the NoZe. A great cry arose from the Enlightened, "We must conserve, preserve, and observe the Sanc-tities of the Faith..." Thus the Brethern were scattered among the nations?Holy Icons in hand. But alas, when the purge had been forgotten, the Icons were nowhere to be found. Accordingly, the Holy Krewsade began. Time after time, they returned and had not the Law ? without a hint, glint, or scent of this Holy Grail.
Description: Large Medical Encyclopedia. Also rumored to be a Compleate Industrial Supplies Catalog. Approximately 12x14x24" in height. Bound with 2 metal straps and a padlock. See Noble Artisans Sketch.
Contents: Historical Archives including photosensitive tintypes and prints, Monthly Ropes and Manuscripts and Edicks of the Holy Order since the Elm Mott Era Of LongNoZe.
Contact the Noble NoZe if you have information leading to the recovery of this Holy History. Other Icons and other Objets D' Arts may or may not be in the immediate vicinity.   Herein lies a Clue: The Spirit of LongNoZe haunts dusty Barns, Attics, and Dark Bars surrounding Jerusalem by the Brazos.
Reward: HairyLegs & Kegs    Kudos, Cheers, Tears, and Beers from the Noble NoZemen. Occasional sightings of LongNoZe's ever present, evanescent probuscus at Kollege B-ball games.